It always irritates me when I read articles about shyness and there is always some person mentioned in it and how their job or school life is affected by shyness. But in the next line the person mentions a husband or a girlfriend. I’m sorry, but if you can manage to go out on dates and have some kind of relationship with another human being who is not related to you – YOU ARE NOT SHY! Turn in your membership card please.
Why? I’m shy. I don’t like parties. No, no, no, no! Not liking parties, not liking public speaking does not make you shy. That just makes you modest. Shyness, social anxiety and avoidant personalities, to varying degrees, all share the same trait – a crippling fear of judgement. To be scrutinzed by others and found lacking. Therefore, if you can go on a date which, quite frankly, is all about judgement & scrutiny, you are not shy.
Shy people sit at home…alone …with maybe a cat or dog. True shy people don’t date. Dating is the ultimate scrutiny. With a job the scrutiny is only about work performance. Dating, however, is about who you are as a person. Therefore, if you can date & take the risk of the rejection of you – then you are not shy. If, after your relationship ends and you swear off relationships altogether, after mmm, five years alone you may have your shyness membership card back.
